If you don’t have time to read, click below and listen:
Hi, I’m Dee and I need to share a secret. My books have a life of their own. Yes. It’s true and I can prove it.
This month I’ve been reading Sherri Lewis’ The List. Sherri is an Essence Magazine Bestselling author of two novels, My Soul Cries Out and Dance into Destiny. She is also a good friend, so I had the privilege of reading the novel through all stages of publication. Little did she know or I for that matter that the novel began to become a part of my own life. Her novel, The List is about four successful African American Women who decide to use a list to help them findthe man they believe God has made them for. But when their lists become more of a problem than the solution, what will these women do?
You have to read the book to know that, but let me tell you what I’ve done. For the past sixteen years or so I’ve used various lists to guide me through the dating process. I had a list that contained my physical preferences, financial preferences–some of anything preferences, none of them worked. The product of my last ten year relationship was an annulment and the birth of my daughter, Selah. The latter–Selah is my most prized possession. I love that girl like crazy. However, the relationship between more of her father is the thing of legend and a little Maury Povich. Last year after my final(and I mean final) separation from him I met a new guy. A great guy. Let’s call him Teacake for you Zora Neal Hurston (“There Eyes Were Watching God “) fans. Teacake was thirteen years younger than me, but quite mature. We had a ball together. But I soon realized to my chagrin that I wasn’t the woman for him. It had nothing to do our age difference, but what I knew he deserved and what I knew was waiting for me, if I just step out of God’s way. You know what I mean?
So I had to cut TeaCake Off, and ultimately go on a Man Fast.
What’s a Man Fast? My term for cutting off communication with men I am attracted to, who are attracted to me, and turning off the flirt flag that lives in me. I’m a shameless southern flirt. Don’t mean no harm. lol.
Anyway…I went on a Man Fast, because last year outside of Tea Cake I found myself seeing men, who were all different and all not satisfying(outside of TeaCake hint hint) I realized that like some of the women in The List I didn’t know who I was. And, thus I was saying to the universe “bring any man to me, I’ll take him” which wasn’t true, else I would have kept Tea Cake. He was yummy yall.
See. I want an authentic relationship with people, not just men, but with my girl friends, my family, my clients, my daughter. I want to matter to people and so I am no longer wasting my time dealing with people who don’t want to be for real about themselves and who don’t want to share their real selves with me.
Really. If I’m giving up Tea Cake. It better be for a good reason. LOL.
I love God and I know He loves me. But I have to be honest, I’ve done a piss poor job showing others I love them and treating myself like I love Dee. And I can honestly say Sherri’s book, The List helped me see that.
I hope The List will be an authentic eye opener for you.
Now let me ask you a question? Did/do you use a list as a dating guide? You can comment here or at my Poll Here.
Thanks so much for sharing your five minutes with me. You can find me here every other Thursday or on twitter in the RAW4ALL Yahoo Group or at my community site Christian Fiction(psst you don’t have to be Christian to join the community. You’re invited. 
Dee Stewart is the owner of DeeGospel PR, a boutique public relations firm located in Atlanta, GA that specializes in Christian entertainment & publishing.
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