Welcome everyone! I have been up all night with Finding Me by Darnella Ford and just finished about an hour ago. I almost started the chat then, just so I could tell someone about how much I enjoyed this book. So, let’s get this started!! It is Book 13 of our Holiday Reading Challenge.
For those who haven’t read a Darnella Ford book, you are TRULY missing out. I have been a fan since I read the self-published version of her first book, and am only disappointed it took me this long to get to Finding Me.
Okay Ladies (and Gents), let’s chat!!
FINDING ME by Darnella Ford
Dafina, February 2009
280 Pages, Paperback, $14.00
ISBN-10: 0758216769
ISBN-13: 978-0758216762
BOOK DESCRIPTION
One thing about life, it just keeps going. We stop. It moves on. If we fall flat on our face, it will roll over the top of us without apology to keep its course. It has to. It’s life.
Eleven-year-old Blaze James and her twin sister, Aerial, know two things beyond a doubt. They’re two of the prettiest girls in Shreveport, Louisiana, and they’ll always be there for each other. Then one night, a gas explosion leaves their father dead and Aerial severely burned, changing their lives forever.
While Aerial goes with their mother to Baton Rouge for treatment, Blaze stays behind with a neighbor. Free-spirited and unconventional, Felicity Hardaway opens Blaze’s eyes to a whole new world, inspiring her to explore her own budding desires and the answers she finds will bring passion, betrayal, and a love beyond expectations.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Darnella Ford is the author of Naked Love, Crave, Choke and Rising. A spoken-word artist, she incorporates her poetic narrative style into novels that have won enthusiastic critical and fan acclaim. She performs regularly in the Los Angeles area, where she lives with her daughter.
Author’s Website: http://www.darnella.com
Good morning and thank you for joining us today!!! I loved Finding Me and can’t wait to discuss, I hope I don’t get annoying with all of my questions.
First question what was the inspiration for Blaze Ledoux James?
Good morning ladies! Thanks for the love! As far as the inspiration for Blaze….she was born 14 years ago as a character in a screenplay that I did, which the book is based upon. I never forgot her…and knew that one day she would be an AWESOME character to expand in the book.
Blaze is her own “unique” being…she just sort of breathed herself into life. That sounds like Blaze, right?
Yes it does!! You just forgot to put a little bite in it and use her whole name. ROFL!!!
Tee,
You are HYSTERICAL! I can’t believe you stayed up all night reading! Boy, nothing like waiting till the eleventh hour
I’m glad you enjoyed the book.
Girl, ask the ladies…ROFL. I’ve done it with almost every book in the challenge. But yours? I could not stop listening. Hubby (dunno why he was up until 4 in the morning) kept coming in asking me questions, wanting to know what was so funny. I was so glad when he went to bed I didn’t know what to do. Ahahha.
Anywho…when I say I was hollering? OMG, I had to go in the basement one time so I wouldn’t wake up the baby.
-Tee
(P.S. For a disclaimer, I’ve had 5 hrs of sleep in the last 48-50 hrs, soooo if I start talking crazy, that’s why.)
LOL, Tee. I was the same way when I read…I laughed, hollered and cried. Some of the things that Blaze would say kept me wanting more. Like ‘I was born therefore I matter’, wow!!!!!
Okay?? Just as you have me saying I’ma kick folks in the neck (ROFL), I know I’ma be saying some of Blaze’s and Felicity’s sayings!!
-Tee
Tee I was really trying to refrain from using that today, but gave up and just replied to a post…LOL!!!! Be quiet, Sharon!!!!
You did try sis, so that counts!
Yes, Tee has been a little late, but she’s been hanging in there during this challenge. I was like her a bit with some of the reads too, so I understand.
LOL!! Now you didn’t know me when I’d read 2-3 books a week. This two kids thing put a dent in my reading plan, so this is the most I’ve read in a LONG time and I’m so glad, otherwise I would’ve kept putting off reading these books. I so love reading a great book and when this one came out, I knew I’d read it, just not when!
-Tee
LOL!!!!!
Tee,
The funny thing is…that when I got a “preview” copy of the book before it was released and I re-read it…I was sitting in my bed cracking up! My daughter looked at me and said, “You are so STRANGE to be sitting here laughing at your own book! Isn’t there something just wrong about that?” LOL … but looking back, it was funny as hell, in some parts.
Blaze was SUCH a smart ass!
I can totally see that! Too, too funny!!
-Tee
Yes, she was. Such a unique character, and so grown for her age. She had me cracking up, along with Felicity.
LOL…that’s right Tee…Blaze had no problem emphazing her full name…..loved that!!!!!!
I’m not gonna lie. I loved it!!! When I was younger, and in the military, I would correct ANYONE who wouldn’t put my middle initial in my name. I once asked the commander to fix an award I received because they left out the S.
-Tee
Blaze kept it real from beginning to end. For a while there I kept finding myself comparing other characters to her.
Blaze was so funny. The way she let her tongue loose had me shouting. I just love her.
And those “what I really wanted to say” lines were killing me! I was like “tell it, Blaze, tell it!”
-Tee
Welcome Darnella,
wanted to say I love your writing voice and have read all your work. Finding Me was so wonderful, that Blaze~ what a character. I am going to run out but didnt want to leave without saying THANKS for being such an AWESOME writer-woman, YOU ROCK~
angelia
Angelia,
Thank you so much for the LOVE and support! I appreciate you!!!! Have a great day.
Darnella
Ditto to what you both said! Angelia, you’ve got my most supportive author ever title and Darnella, if I keep talking about how great your books are, folks are gonna think you’re paying me. (You do still have my address, right?)
-Tee
Yes ma’am … and you KNOW i appreciate you!
Good morning Darnella and thank you so much for joining us today to chat!!!!! I’m first going to say I simply loved Finding Me!! The characterization was on point, they were colorful and real, the scenes were very descriptive.
My favorite characters were Blaze and Felicity.
What was your inspiration behind this novel?
Good morning Sharon!
The inspiration for this book was based upon a screenplay that I wrote 14 years ago titled “Skin.” The script was selected as a Walt Disney Finalist in their screenwriting competition in 1995. Out of 4,000 entries, the script came in at #2. I knew that it was something and I loved it so much that years later, I decided to revamp and revised it…and turned it into a novel in 2009.
#2? Wow that is awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is great and I’d LOVE to see that original script! You know I’m a fan of your original work, right? I remember reading the self-published version of Rising…then I read the re-published one. I could not believe it was different. It was still good, but that original one? It was so real…so raw…so Darnella Ford!
-Tee
You know what? I actually remember you telling me that years ago…that you liked the original, self-published version better.
Just for our friends on the chat, I was “discovered” by an AMAZING editor at St. Martin’s Press, who actually gave me my first big break in this biz! She was attracted to the writing in the original version of Rising, however, I did rewrite the “second” version and the reason being–EVERYBODY in the first version got killed…even the piano player, for crying out loud.
The rewritten version offers a bit more “hope”…
Killing off all your characters….LOL
Ah, I have to read that one and ASAP!!! That’s what I thought was going to happen, and was shocked when it didn’t. Wow!!!!!
Jaime, I’m not saying I like killing and all the blood and gore, but it was riveting! It fit! It made sense. And yeah, it was a little dark, but it was soooo good.
-Tee
OK…I just obtained a copy of RISING!! Can’t wait to get to it.
You’ll love it!!!! If you haven’t read Crave or Choke those are good too.
Which brings another question for Darnella, what’s up with the condom scene in Choke? I wondered what she would’ve done if her suspicions turned out to be incorrect….ummm.
Whew Lord! I understand it’s a snow day and all, but these kids have me late for the chat and I’ve been ready to start talking about the book since I finished a bit over an hour ago. LOL!!
Thank you all so much for coming. Darnella will be peeking in and out throughout the day, so let’s just go ahead and get the chatting started and she can catch up when she makes it over.
Soooooooo….questions:
1. Is this your first Darnella Ford novel and if not, which others did you read? Thoughts on them? How does this one compare? If you haven’t read any others, did this one make you want to?
2. These characters were something else. Who would you identify as the main character? Who was your favorite? Least favorite?
3. The book opens with a young Blaze, chatting it up with her sister and back-talking Mr. Rufus a bit. What did you think of those scenes? The bond between the sisters? Mr. Rufus?
4. In reading early on, did you realize Blaze mentioning her sister’s beauty would mean that she’d undergo such a major transformation in the book?
5. What about the mother? How did you feel when she left after the fire, barely remembering she had a second child?
-Tee
1. Is this your first Darnella Ford novel and if not, which others did you read? Thoughts on them? How does this one compare? If you haven’t read any others, did this one make you want to?
This was my first one, which lead me to read her other work. Finding me and Crave are my favorite.
2. These characters were something else. Who would you identify as the main character? Who was your favorite? Least favorite?
Main and favorite character definitely was Blaze Ledoux James. Least favorite was Felicity Hardaway and Aliyah James
3. The book opens with a young Blaze, chatting it up with her sister and back-talking Mr. Rufus a bit. What did you think of those scenes? The bond between the sisters? Mr. Rufus?
Loved it!!! I loved how they referred to them as the niccumpoops. For a moment the girl’s bond was strong and unbreakable.
4. In reading early on, did you realize Blaze mentioning her sister’s beauty would mean that she’d undergo such a major transformation in the book?
I figured something would happen, but I didn’t realize what.
5. What about the mother? How did you feel when she left after the fire, barely remembering she had a second child?
I tried to give her the benefit to the doubt, but I couldn’t get over how she forgot about her child.
1. I have read all of them and love them, each one is my new favorite,
2. Blaze is my favorite, love a fiery female character
3. Loved the bond, and I know a Mr. Rufus, he was so character point
4. I wasnt sure if the beauty talk would mean that kind of transformaton but I knew something relative was coming
5. OOOH the mama~ oooh!
I am really going or Cynthia is going to kill me, LATER~
LOL, Angelia…have fun!! We’ll chat with you later when you make it back.
-Tee
This was such a unique story. I had no idea where it was gonna go when it started, but I really thought the twins would stay close, since in the beginning of the novel their closeness seemed so important. No clue that Ariel would lose her physical beauty (and then her inner beauty too it seems!) The mother just seemed odd. I couldn’t quite put my finger on whether she was really trying to protect Blaze from seeing Ariel, or is she just couldn’t handle both girls without Rufus being around. And the later the mother kept sending money and clothes to Blaze, and still wanted to bring her home even after she hadn’t seen her in years. I just couldn’t put my finger on what was wrong with this mom. Was she selfish (probably), nuts, or just uncaring???
I think maybe she was a little bit of all three. LOL. If nothing else, I think she felt guilty. She had to know how she was treating Blaze, even before she was caught on the dirty floor with ole girl. She may also have been trying to do a little of the “see I’m big-time now, I can help you out.”
-Tee
1. Is this your first Darnella Ford novel and if not, which others did you read? Thoughts on them? How does this one compare? If you haven’t read any others, did this one make you want to?
This was my first by Darnella Ford but not my last. When I finished Finding Me I was off to find the others. There is only one that I didn’t read and I think it was Crave but I will. They all are good. I do believe that Finding Me is the best of them all.
2. These characters were something else. Who would you identify as the main character? Who was your favorite? Least favorite?
Blaze, Blaze, and Aliyah. I can be just as fly by the mouth as Blaze…strong willed like Blaze…but not weak like Aliyah.
3. The book opens with a young Blaze, chatting it up with her sister and back-talking Mr. Rufus a bit. What did you think of those scenes? The bond between the sisters? Mr. Rufus?
I thought the scene opened up to how well the girls were bonded. I thought Mr. Rufus was just a prude.
4. In reading early on, did you realize Blaze mentioning her sister’s beauty would mean that she’d undergo such a major transformation in the book?
No
5. What about the mother? How did you feel when she left after the fire, barely remembering she had a second child?
I felt she was a very weak woman that was easy to be side swiped
1. Is this your first Darnella Ford novel and if not, which others did you read? Thoughts on them? How does this one compare? If you haven’t read any others, did this one make you want to?
No; I’ve read Crave and Naked Love. I enjoyed both, but I enjoyed the storyline in Crave better. I think that Finding Me is better than them both.
2. These characters were something else. Who would you identify as the main character? Who was your favorite? Least favorite?
Favorite – Blaze…hands down!
Least favorite – Blaze’s mother
3. The book opens with a young Blaze, chatting it up with her sister and back-talking Mr. Rufus a bit. What did you think of those scenes? The bond between the sisters? Mr. Rufus?
I enjoyed those scenes. It really showed the bonds between the girls, which made what happened later in the story all the more tragic.
I had no sympathy for Mr. Rufus.
4. In reading early on, did you realize Blaze mentioning her sister’s beauty would mean that she’d undergo such a major transformation in the book?
No, I didn’t. I figured something tragic was going to happen, but nothing like this.
5. What about the mother? How did you feel when she left after the fire, barely remembering she had a second child?
She was my least favorite character. Her actions were completely unexplainable. Both of her children needed her, not just Aerial. And it seemed that though she was physically present for Aerial, she was really “there” for her either.
Darnella et al, the humor in this book had me cracking up, all through the night and early morning. I misplaced my copy of the book, so ended up having to order the audiobook last night. Stayed up all night cleaning and listening and HOLLERING! Hubby kept coming in asking me what was so funnny. I loved, loved, loved Blaze’s humor and smart-mouth!
-Tee
LOL
This was my first audio book…and it was so wild to hear someone else (Cherise Boothe did a great job) saying all of those bad words!
But, she nailed it!! I could actually “see” the characters from the way she read the book.
-Tee
Now that’s a good narrator if she could make you visualize the characters.
It sounds like I need to check out the audiobook!
I’m big into audiobooks and this is one of the best I’ve heard. I actually started reading the book but noticed my library had the audiobook so I checked it out. Glad I did.
Do you plan on having the others in audiobooks?
1. Is this your first Darnella Ford novel and if not, which others did you read? Thoughts on them? How does this one compare? If you haven’t read any others, did this one make you want to? I’ve also read Naked Love and enjoyed it as well. They both dealth with families and lots of emotions.
2. These characters were something else. Who would you identify as the main character? Who was your favorite? Least favorite? I could identify with Blaze…she was a spitfire…didn’t let anything stand in her way and had no problem speaking her mind. But I also loved Felicity…she was he rwon woman, independent, and rough around the edges but she ws a giving person. Least favorite…Aliyah
3. The book opens with a young Blaze, chatting it up with her sister and back-talking Mr. Rufus a bit. What did you think of those scenes? The bond between the sisters? Mr. Rufus? We as children do not back talk our parents…but baby girl was telling the truth….LOL! Aerial nad Blaze’s bond was so sweet and special. I don’t even knoew why Rufus was there…LOL!! He didn’t do anything.
4. In reading early on, did you realize Blaze mentioning her sister’s beauty would mean that she’d undergo such a major transformation in the book? Yes
5. What about the mother? How did you feel when she left after the fire, barely remembering she had a second child? I thought her to be very selfish.
I have read Crave, Finding Me, and Naked Love. I enjoyed them all. I LOVED Crave the best because of its prosy presentation.
1. No, I’ve read them all…even the self-published version of the first book, Rising. I’ve loved them all and especially liked the characterization and the almost poetic feel to the writing. Lord, I don’t want to compare them since I’ve loved them all and there’s so much time in between them and errr ummmm…LOL.
2. Well, initially I thought Blaze was the main character, but then Felicity. It’s like she upstaged her a bit — imagine this as a movie and it may y be easier to see. LOL. I loved both of their characters. When Felicity first came on the scene, I felt like she was schooling me…all the grown folks’ business and stuff. It was a bit appalling to hear an adult talking to a child like that, but then her character got more and more addictive.
3. OMG…these scenes started me cracking up; especially when she asked him “how you in charge when you ain’t bought nothing or ain’t got no money”…something like that. The narrator for the audiobook had Blaze down so good, I was just waiting on her next outburst. Not normally one for the drama, I was loving me some Blaze! I’m a twin, so I liked the bond between the sisters. My sister and I aren’t as close as they were, but it was still cool to see the interaction.
4. No, I didn’t think mentioning the beauty of her sister was a big deal at first. I didn’t read the back of the book or synopsis, so I went in fresh. All I knew was that it was a Darnella Ford book and I wanted to read it.
5. I never liked the mother in the book and shared Blaze’s early comments about her. I have a low tolerance for weak women; especially when a man is involved.
-Tee
1. First one and whew! I gotta check out the other ones. The writing was so smooth, had me laughing, and the characters were so uniqe.
2. Blaze was my favorite. She had her flaws, but she never gave up on herself, and she was so funny and bold. Aliyah was my least favorite. So wishy washy. She sacrificed her own happiness for appearance sake, and I just couldn’t handle that.
3. I loved the opening scenes. Had me thinking was an incorrigible young girl Blaze was, and I like incorrigible!
4. No, not at all!
5. Wait, I think I answered this. I’m all mixed up!
Good morning Darnella. Thank you for joining us but most importantly thank you for Finding Me. It was by far the best book I read in 2009. It was so good, I had to get all your other books and start a marathon!
Hi LaDena,
Thank you so much! I appreciate your feedback and support!
Darnella, did you intentionally have Blaze saying her full name over and over, and commenting on about how great/smart she was, but yet…she didn’t truly see herself until right at the end of the novel?
Did the rest of y’all catch that?
-Tee
Yes I caught it. She did it bc/ her mother never had a comeback response when Mr. Rufus would ask her what made her so special
I caught that
Yes, Tee I caught that. I thought that’s what made the book so profound. She was strong, smart and determined, yet she was lost when it came to the matters of the heart. By the end she learned.
I think Blaze “wrote herself” that way. She knew at a young age what most people don’t realize…that you ARE what you say you are…and it REALLY bothered her that her mother didn’t demonstrate self-love and self-esteem in her relationship with Rufus…
Blaze wanted to make sure that the whole world KNEW she mattered.
Yep! And she didn’t even get it herself. It was almost like she was still being school by Felicity and just repeating stuff.
-Tee
More discussion questions:
1. In your opinion, should Blaze have lived with Felicity Hardaway following the tragedy?
2. Do you feel Felicity influenced Blaze in choosing the lifestyle of a lesbian?
3. Did Blaze resent Aliyah James as an adult? If so, why?
4. What were your feelings of Felcity’s fake death?
5. What was your feeling for the ending?
1. In your opinion, should Blaze have lived with Felicity Hardaway following the tragedy? No…not for as long as she did. Blaze needed to be with her mother and sister and I feel her mother broke the girls’ special bond.
2. Do you feel Felicity influenced Blaze in choosing the lifestyle of a lesbian? I think unknowingly she did.
3. Did Blaze resent Aliyah James as an adult? If so, why? Yes b/c her mother was for self and was weak.
4. What were your feelings of Felcity’s fake death? I knew she faked her death all along b/c when she feel out of the boat there wasn’t a splash. But I understand why she did it to get Blaze out of a lifestyle she didn’t believe she could handle.
5. What was your feeling for the ending? Whether if she stayed with Nathaniel or not I believed she found herself.
1. No, it seemed odd; especially since rumor was Felicity was a bit loose. I kept thinking “please don’t let this girl be molested or put on the clock” or anything scandalous like that.
2. No, I don’t think Felicity influenced her to become a lesbian. But, I tell you what…her and those dolls the morning after??? I was C-R-A-C-K-I-N-G U-P!!!!
3. I think she hated that her mother was weak and only interested in Mr. Willow for his money.
4. Now, I did think she faked her own death, but like Sharon, I couldn’t figure out how she got away without a splash. I pictured them on a little tiny boat, not a yacht, so I just couldn’t see how she could get away so quickly and quietly. I thought she faked it, but oddly, I didn’t even consider the why’s of it. When she showed up at the end talking with no emotion? I was like, dang…Ms Felicity done lost her mind. I felt bad for Blaze.
5. I loved the ending!! (And I normally hate the ending of books.) But, it fit and while I felt bad for Blaze, it did help her see herself. Loved how the title comes into play too.
-Tee
oh yeah…the dolls now that was hilarious!! ROFL!!!!!!!!!!
1. In your opinion, should Blaze have lived with Felicity Hardaway following the tragedy? Well I didn’t think so at first, but Felicity turned out not to be that bad, at least when Blaze was young. She provided more love to that child than she was getting from any adult at home, although she was a bit irresponsible and not really cut out for mothering.
2. Do you feel Felicity influenced Blaze in choosing the lifestyle of a lesbian? Nope, not at all.
3. Did Blaze resent Aliyah James as an adult? Yes If so, why? I think she hated the decisions her mother made about her life, especially marrying Mr. Willow. Aliyah was the opposite kind of person that Blaze wanted to be
4. What were your feelings of Felcity’s fake death? I was shocked. I sorta thought Felicity did love Blaze in a way, but that she just couldn’t come to grips with being a lesbian. I couldn’t believe she faked it. Shocked me.
5. What was your feeling for the ending? I liked it. Think it was the best possible way to end the story. Not totally a happy ending, but definitely a resolution. Blaze could at least now live her life fully, instead of living it in the past
Okay, I just thought of this and while I understand she needed to see Felicity for closure, it seems too convenient that she was in Wisconsin.
-Tee
I thought they were in Rhode Island, did they move to Wisonsin too?
I thought that too, Tee.
Wanted to give a brief overview on my thoughts on the book, if that’s okay.
Finding Me is a controversial story, as you can imagine. I researched the book by interviewing a “host” of lesbians in the Los Angeles and West Hollywood areas where I lived. I wanted to understand the “color” and “nature” of love and I wanted to contrast it against society’s expectations. When I did my final interview, I spoke with an African American celebrity hairstylist who was currently involved in a lesbian affair, though she had many male lovers throughout her life. At the end of her interview, she told me that she had loved the woman she was dating since she was a little girl. She was 31 at the time of our interview. She said that she had written this little girl a note and promised that one day they would be together and now, more than 20 years later, they were. The most memorable aspect of our interview was the “twinkle” in this girl’s eyes at the end of it. She had that “dazed” — in love– kind of look. In that moment, I looked at her and realized that her love was just like mine. That’s how I looked when I loved a “guy.”
As an artist, as a writer, as a human being…I think it’s important to capture in words–that which is not obvious to everyone. Much of my work has been controversial because I like to explore the things that most are frightened to speak on.
Ironically, Finding Me has been nominated for the Stonewall Literary Award. It is the most prestigious award offered to gay literature. When I told my mother about the award, she was “horrified” and concerned that people would think I was gay. However, I’m so grateful at this point in my life…that I don’t care what others think. I am honored to represent all human beings…and all forms of love, in my work. And of course…a little dysfunction here and there too,
That is amazing!!
Amazing. Congratulations on the nomination!!!
Wow, that is so amazing.
Brenda
Congratulations, Darnella! Thanks for sharing too. This leads into a question I was going to ask about why you chose to make them lesbian, but I really like that you did, for the reasons you noted. I read a book in 2007 that made me see exactly what you mention.
I think you did a wonderful job with it and while some scenes were a bit graphic, I saw exactly why they were. I don’t like sex in books for the sake of sex, so I really like when I get (better yet, when the author gets) why a scene is placed where it is.
Kudos!
-Tee
I agree Tee…the sex scenes were done tastefully and an important link to the story.
Wow! Thanks…I just wanted to take the reader into the bedroom to show the raw passion between Blaze and Felicity. I know that it was too much for some, and others were “turned on”…LOL!!!
Amazing and congratulations!!
Thanks for this providing us with this information. Congratulations on the award!
Hello Darnella
I look forward to your new book. I enjoyed Crave!
Thank you Roderick!
First, I want to say Darnella, I have LOVED all your books I have read. You have a way of being poetic in your books. As a poet, I enjoy writers who write like that.
Ok, to the book. Whew! Blaze was a good name for her. Her attitude matched her name. She had a MOUTH on her. Sometimes she reminded me of my 19 year old daughter. SMH.
LOL! Thanks Shai!
Hey Shai! Say it ain’t so, girl! I was cracking up and rooting for Blaze, but then I remembered my little try-to-be-sassy-and-ain’t-even-eight child and then I kinda stopped laughing for a sec. Then she’d get outrageous again and I’d start howling with laughter. I do not look forward to the teen years at all!
-Tee
1. Did anyone think there was a connection between Felicity and Aliyah?
I did, I read and reread to find the connection. It was puzzling how Aliyah always seem to know when something was happening and make an appearance.
2. Do you think Aliyah helped stage Felicity’s death?
Yes.
Yes I knew it all along.
I never connected them. I will have to go back and see about the helping stage her death.
I don’t think it was ever stated in the book…but I felt there was connection between the two. Darnella can you help us out?
OMG, what? I did NOT see that! What, wait…don’t make me go and listen to it again. Ahahha. Now that you mention it though, it kinda makes sense. Maybe she had something going on with Felicity and knew she’d take good care of Blaze? Maybe she knew how kind-hearted Felicity could be, despite folks in the neighborhood thinking she was a bit loose.
Okay Jaime…you are the bomb!
I had not made this connection, but it fits…all her popping up, sending checks/cash, etc.
Ummm Darnella…was this how it went down?
-Tee
If I’m not mistaken…Blaze sort of figures this out in the book.
Yes, she always questioned, but it was never actually said. You noticed Aliyah never came back once she was married and had the baby. Ummm, just saying.
I did think there was a connection between Aliyah and Felicity. I always wondered why Aliyah always popped up like she did. How did she know so much information about Felicity? At one point, I thought Aliyah and Felicity may have been lovers.
Yes, I though Aliyah had something to do with the “made up” death of Felicity.
1. In your opinion, should Blaze have lived with Felicity Hardaway following the tragedy?
I have mixed feelings about it. To think how her mom acted made me look at maybe her mom would not have been in her right mind and taken care of her. Then I think of how Felicity had some bad ways that brought more of Blaze’s bad attitude.
2. Do you feel Felicity influenced Blaze in choosing the lifestyle of a lesbian?
I think it encouraged feelings Blaze may have already had.
3. Did Blaze resent Aliyah James as an adult? If so, why?
I think she always resented her mother because of her not being brave enough for her daughters’ well-being. She saw her as weak.
4. What were your feelings of Felicity’s fake death?
I was floored on that one. What a way to get away from a lover. SMH.
5. What was your feeling for the ending?
I was left shaking my head.
1. In your opinion, should Blaze have lived with Felicity Hardaway following the tragedy?
I did question that at first, then I kept reading and didn’t have a problem with it. I knew what was up when the company finally arrived that evening.
2. Do you feel Felicity influenced Blaze in choosing the lifestyle of a lesbian?
Good question, Sharon. Not sure…I don’t think that’s something that be influenced.
3. Did Blaze resent Aliyah James as an adult? If so, why?
Yes, because she felt Aliyah James was out for herself and Aerial.
4. What were your feelings of Felcity’s fake death?
You know what I thought about that. I wanted to kick her in the neck, LOL!!! I knew she wasn’t dead, I kept reading so I could find out what really happened. When I did, I felt Blaze Ledoux James’s pain.
5. What was your feeling for the ending?
That Blaze Ledoux James came full circle.
so I guess you wanted to kick Aerial in the neck when she ran and told her mother what Blaze was doing in the closet with that girl? LOL
Yep, she could have kept her mouth shut. Snitches get stitches, LOL!! That was her sister after all. Then again Aliyah had favored her and let it be known that she was the favored one, so I guess she didn’t have a choice.
Okay, now that you mention it, I couldn’t believe she told!! Secondly, why didn’t they lock the door? Thirdly…on the floor? There were no sinks? I’m just saying…that’s just nasty.
-Tee
Remember Blaze Ledoux James stated she forgot to lock the door should’ve remembered. Tee, like you I wondered why they just didn’t retreat to another location all together away from the guests. What else that blew me away was the reaction, just to ship her off to boarding school? No let’s talk about this or what you’re feeling, nothing?
Deep down I don’t think she wanted Blaze around anyway b/c she reminded Aliyah what Aerial wasn’t any longer and this was the perfect solution for her..
That’s another way at looking at it. But then why make the big production about Blaze Ledoux James’s graduation?
Come on this is Aliyah…who knows why she does a lot of things!
True, she did end up marrying the old man. From the description of him, he sounded gross!!
LOL at Tee “On the floor!” You know Blaze probably knew the floor was clean, since she had probably cleaned it! LOL
Hi Danella,
I haven’t read Finding Me, yet. My book arrived today.
Tee’s, OMG, after staying up all night to finish it, has me greatly anticipating
reading Finding Me.
Hi Janice…
I hope you enjoy the read!
Why do you guys think Felicity faked her own death?
Oh…and by the way, Aliyah and Felicity were not connected at all. In fact, Aliyah didn’t really Felicity, because she was a bit jealous of her. She “knew” Blaze admired her greatly as a child. And Felicity seemed to have that “fire” that Aliyah did not.
By the way…WHAT DID YOU GUYS THINK OF THAT WEDDING? AND THE WHITE GIRL WITH THE MUSTANGE?????
Ok, I wondered if she imagined Felicity or did she fake her own death. That is why I shook my head at the end. I had questions left.
I think she faked her death to get so that Blaze would change her mind about the lifestyle she was choosing. She was young and didn’t know what she was doing.
That cracked me up…rubber nipples? LOL
The whole relationship was unbelievable to me. I thought it was an odd hookup. And the white girl to me was fake. Like the kid who pulls you into trouble and then runs.
Ah man, no connection….ummm. I knew that Aliyah was jealous of Felecity, I also thought there was something else.
Felicity felt that she had to fake her death to get BLJ to let her go. Her cold reply of I never loved you I liked you very much though proved to me why she faked her death.
For the wedding, the girl was a bit much but apart of the story.
Ahahha! The whole “my daddy got me breasts for Christmas” and whipping them out…caught me off guard. Then the little sly voice talking about feel them? Ummmm…I was like uh-oh. I wasn’t expecting it at all. Then…why didn’t they lock the door at the wedding?
Oh and the ice sculpture? ROFL…too funny!!!
-Tee
Wasn’t a sculpture of her mother and Mr. Willow or something wild?
NO CONNECTION!!! HMMM.
The white girl with the “look what daddy got me for Christmas” was a hot azz mess. When she whipped out those breasts I knew what was next to come and I was screaming Blaze don’t do it.
Ahahaha, LaDena!!! Okay??
-Tee
Did you guys get a kick out of Blaze talking about the “Good people of Shreveport” and how they would lose it if they saw her in that mustang rubbing on that girl’s breasts? Actually, I forgot I wrote that and when i read the book back…I fell out on the floor! All of those “The Good People of Shreveport…” comments…
Yep and those “Good People of Shreveport” were something else…holier than thous!!!
Yes, Yes! I went to college near Shreveport, so this part had me hollering too! There was so much I laughed at in the book, I wish I had written it all down, but remember I was cleaning my house. Had I had the book I could’ve read it in 4-6 hrs, but the audio was 9 hrs, so I cleaned my kitchen, office & started on Christmas Decorations when I couldn’t sit at my desk any longer. So, I was just walking around (probably looking like a nut) screaming with laughter. Hubby thought I was on the phone one while. Funny, funny!
-Tee
I surely did, I wondered why that was important to her. I hollered everytime she said that!!!!
Darnella,
Thanks for joining us today for our chat. I have read all of your books, except for Finding Me. I haven’t gotten to it yet, but I know I will. I fell that all of your books are so intense and really get to the reader emotionally, or at least me, anyway. It seems like you put so much into your books and that each one is a little part of you. My question is how do you continue to keep the pace writing such emotionally-driven and intense books? Is it draining or electricfying to you? How do you balance your writing with life?
Brenda
Wow Brenda…what wonderful questions!
Yes, the books are all a “tiny piece of me” — some more than others.
I wrote my first book because I had a child and was severely depressed after her birth. That’s why everyone in the book got killed…so I didn’t have to “act out” in real life
Actually, my work is very intense and through the years the “intensity” has been channeled in a new direction, perhaps. It’s never draining to write them…it’s always electrifying…passionate…enthralling. I have always said that I have never experienced a higher greater than the “intoxication of my own words.”
LOL…@ “so I didn’t have to “act out†in real life”. But oh do I understand.
Thanks for responding. Your books are all a joy to me. I appreciate the effort you put into each and every one of them. I admit your words are intoxicating.
Brenda
I agree with everything Brenda said and am glad to hear they’re not draining to you. That is pretty cool, though. To be able to write with such passion…
-Tee
Stepping out for a bit ladies, but I shall return!
Keep those questions/comments coming!
Thanks!!!
Darnella
Please share with us what you’re working on now.
Yes, please tell us what is next on the agenda.
Brenda
I am working on a new book titled, “The Immortal Half Breed.” It’s a creative story that follows the life of one person and unfolds in 3 different lifetimes, 1807, 1907 and 2007. They keep living/dying and coming back trying to make it right. It’s VERY different…but POWERFUL.
No release date yet. Publishers are “scared” because it’s VERY different.
Sounds interesting!! So is that like paranormal?
Ok, tell them to get unscared and go ahead with the thing. That sounds good.
Brenda
LOL! I’ll make sure they get the memo. It’s a GREAT story and you know it will be written in true “Darnella Ford” style
Sounds good to me, please keep us updated on a release date.
Discussion Questions:
1. Do you think Aliyah knew what Rufus was doing to the girls?
2. Should Blaze have gotten an azz whupping when she was younger?
1. Do you think Aliyah knew what Rufus was doing to the girls? What was he doing to them?
2. Should Blaze have gotten an azz whupping when she was younger? Back in my day she/I would have/did.
I thought he was foddling them or something. I haven’t read it since the summer. But I was wondering if he was touching them.
No he wasn’t touching them…just a live-in deadbeat dad.
And, I’m so glad that’s all he was! That would’ve been just too predictable and messed things up for me.
If she was in character, she might’ve would’ve known, but been too weak to do/say anything about it. And heck yeah, Blaze needed a few butt whippings in this book. LOL. But, I did love that fiesty attitude. My child? Oh heck naww…that would NOT work.
-Tee
I think I am getting it mixed up with another book I read. SMH.
You are correct. Rufus wasn’t sexually abusing the girls. He was just a deadbeat…and he abused all of them equally, including the mother. He drank too much, slept too much, swore too much…the whole nine yards.
Rufus was a deadbeat and glad he wasn’t in the story long. Now for Blaze Ledouz James and her smart mouth as a child, there were times I laughed then there were times when I wanted…u guessed it…kick her in the neck, LOL!!!!!
Jaime, no KICKING IN THE NECK TODAY!!!
Too late!!!!!!!! ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!
OMG, I am cracking up!
Dena, I really tried to refrain from kicking someone in the neck. As you can see I didn’t make it, lol!
LOL! What is this “kick her in the neck” comment all about? You guys are too funny!
LOL…..Jaime affectionately known as “Bruce Lee” gets so involved emotionally while reading and if a character angers her or irritates her she feels like kicking them in the neck….LOL
Darnella, Sharon is correct about this! She’s the one that brought it to my attention that I use the term frequently and nicknamed me Bruce Lee. Now, I think Tee has adopted the saying.
And these ladies put up with me when I get on a tangent about kicking folk in the neck. Thank you–Sharon, Dena and Tee;)!!!!
Darnella,
Thank you for writing this book!
I was truly enamored, outraged, torn-up, and a whole host of other things during and after reading this book.
I suggested it as the BOM for NY-RAWSISTAZ, and all of them loved it as much as I did. You have become one of my favorite authors, for sure!
Thank you so much Candace! I appreciate you!
Did anyone think Nathaniel was gay/bisexual?
No, not at all for me. I’ve never really met a man like him, so I was a bit fascinated with him. Then he went overboard and I was like…get a grip. All the cooking, fresh flowers & running baths was cute for about 5 minutes, then it was a bit aggravating. I quickly saw that him and Blaze were mirrors of each other.
-Tee
Tee,
PROFOUND comment! How did you see Nate and Blaze as mirrors of one another? Because he wanted the love from her and SHE wanted the love from Felicity. Interesting how it works out like that, sometimes…isn’t it???
No, I didn’t think he was gay/bisexual. I thought he was needy…looking for love.
No, I didn’t. I knew he was in love with BLJ the moment he first laid eyes on her. There were times when I really fealt sorry for him because it seemed like no matter what he did it wasn’t enough for her.
Also………..
What were your thoughts of the so called “Christian” people in the town when they shunned Felicity and Blazed? And when Felicity’s babershop was destroyed and the cops didn’t do anything about it?
I think it was the times…I could see it happening, definitely! (I still liked when Blaze stood up to the cop though.) And once again…why they all up in the shop getting it on without locking the door. That’s just dumb, especially if you’re sneaking and/or ashamed. First reaction should be to lock the door, huh?
-Tee
Right…being careless. Felicity has kept her alternative lifestyle private for so long and just that split second messing with Blaze changed it all.
Did you think that maybe BLJ wanted to get caught and that’s why the door wasn’t locked? I also think she was so determined to get Felicity to have the same feelings she had and was willing to do anything to make that happen. Just another way to look at it.
No I don’t think so. And if she did she should have learned her lesson the first about not locking doors.
1. Is this your first Darnella Ford novel and if not, which others did you read? Thoughts on them? How does this one compare? If you haven’t read any others, did this one make you want to? Yes, this is my first one, and, while I have most of the others, I now have an aching to read them all!
2. These characters were something else. Who would you identify as the main character? Who was your favorite? Least favorite? I would identify Blaze as the main character/ She was my favorite with her spunk, attitude, and soft heart.
4. In reading early on, did you realize Blaze mentioning her sister’s beauty would mean that she’d undergo such a major transformation in the book? I had an inkling, but I didn’t know how it would transpire.
5. What about the mother? How did you feel when she left after the fire, barely remembering she had a second child? The mother was a dayum fool. Especially how she just left Blaze by herself. And then to keep her away from her sister. Argh!
Girl, that whole scene at the apartment, I did NOT see that coming! I was like whoa…they’re twins. Come on now. That was messed up. And then the way she treated Blaze once they moved to CA? I loved when Blaze told her off though…busted lip or not.
(And for real-life folks, I don’t recommend telling off your mama; especially if you’re from the South.)
-Tee
LOL…I know that’s right…..I’m not from the South but my mother is a she did play that at all. Look I used to get a whopping EVERYDAY for my smart mouth.
Sharon I thought I was the only one that got a whopping EVERYDAY for my smart mouth. That is why i connected the way I did with Blaze.
Y’all some bad tails, just like my sister was. I was the goody-two shoes who mostly only got a whipping when my sister started something. Hmph!
-Tee
LOL @ LaDena…I stopped getting them when I was about 12. Then I was too big for my mother to hit me….she was getting tired easily…LOL…so the big punishments started….LOL
My mother was still “putting them hands” on me at 18…then I learned to shut up and not try and have the last word.
Ok, I had a smart mouth too…but tamed it early on. One, I didn’t like spankings and two, I especially didn’t like the talk that followed. So I tried my best to stay on the straight path…there were a few bumps on the way. I did survive, LOL!!!
Okay, before I pass out…I wanted to mention a few of the funny & memorable things we haven’t mentioned already, since I actually took notes with this book.
Funnies:
- Poor Rufus got killed off before the 3rd chapter. Not that this was funny, but my goodness, his conversation with the twins was tripping me out! The argument he had with Aliyah about what makes her special was funny to me, and then Blade using the same justification, but from the other end. (She had twins vs Blaze being a twin.) And, it wasn’t like he was anything special, but questioning Aliyah? That was funny too.
- When Blaze said she was “one good gulp away from a whole cup of vomit.” OMG…I was cracking up. I think this was when Mr. Willow was feeling up on Aliyah.
- When Nate’s mom asked Blaze if she was carrying a whale when she was 400+ lbs. SMH
- I also started cracking up every time they said “Sweet Mary, Holy Mother of Jesus”.
Memorable Lines:
- When Blaze she said you “can’t live how they want without dying and you can’t live how you want without them killing you dead.” While I know she was talking about being a lesbian, it applies to so much more if you look deeper than the physical act of dying.
- I don’t remember who said it, but in talking about life and how to deal with it, someone said “we determine life’s outcome”…I like that.
-Tee
Good point outs Tee
One more thing!! At the end, why do you think Blaze did not tell Nate she saw Felicity? Darnella, once everyone answers…give us your take.
-Tee
I think because she knew he loved her so much and it would have hurt him to know she went looking for her.
I think it was partly because she was hurt herself, and maybe it would take something else away from her if she acknowledged the betrayal. I also thought she wanted to protect Nate.
I did wonder though why the inflection was on the word dead vs is in that sentence when she said Felicity Hardaway is dead.
-Tee
Because she was no longer important at the moment, she was actually dead to BLJ. And at that moment BLJ finally understood how much she and Nate had in common and it was real and final.
I’m back! How we doing ladies? Anybody got anymore questions? Comments?
LOL! I’d be hoarse if I was actually at a real book club meeting! You have any questions for us??
-Tee
What a chat, what a chat, what a mighty good chat, think I will read along and work on this short story I get to get done today~
Smooches~
angelia
Okay y’all, I’m going to step out for a bit, but I’ll be back to see if there are any new folks who trickle in during the afternoon/evening. I’m so loving this chat! Thank you all for participating and Darnella, thank you also, for writing such a wonderful book! I’m not sure if you saw my Facebook status, but this is my first 5 for the year. I think I only had a handful from all of 2009. They’re pretty hard to come by from me. (Almost used my full name here). ROFL!!
-Tee
Hey Tee…………..2010 is a promising year!!
Before I step out…
Darnella, you were originally self-published, then picked up by St. Martin’s Press and now you write for Dafina/Kensington. If you’re at liberty to tell, why’d you switch from one major publisher to another? And, if you had to do it all over again, would you still self-publish?
How long was Rising out before it was picked up by SMP and how much longer until it was released again?
-Tee
Good questions.
I switched from St Martin’s to Kensington because I felt that it was time for a change and greater opportunities for me. However, I love both publishing houses. St. Martin’s was a WONDERFUL house and Monique Patterson, my original editor, is one of the BEST in the business. I have tremendous love for her and for St. Martin’s becaues they gave me my first shot and published my first three books. Kensington picked up the last two books. Overall, it’s been a great ride and I’m just appreciative that I’ve had the opportunity to experience the best of both publishing worlds.
As far as Rising goes, I believe the book was self-published for about a year before it was picked up. However, I had moved on and it was sitting in a box below my desk. Monique discovered the book on her own and spent a couple of months “hunting for me.” In essence, it was a gift from God…my publishing deal. The book was re-released approximately 14 months later, once it was sold to St Martin’s Press…
At the end of the book when Blaze returns, she does not tell Nate that she saw Felicity because it was truly “over.” Her silence is symbolic of her moving on. By the time she had made it home, she completely severed the “emotional/mental/spiritual” chord between she and Felicity. Once something is done, then you are “done” talking about it. If someone professes to be “over something” and they continue speaking about it–that is a good indication that it is still very much alive within them
I’m enjoying the chat. You ladies have made my day. Tee…YES, I saw your FB page! Wow…that’s a lot of Darnella Ford love on that page
I appreciate it more than you know. All I have ever wanted was to write and have folks read my work. Before I was published, I used to call my friends up (sometimes very late at night after they had gone to bed) to read them my work. I’m impressed that they were always so “gracious” and didn’t cuss me out for waking them up in the middle of the night to read a “single” paragraph! No one was happier when I finally got a publishing deal than my friends…they were so relieved that I would not need to call the anymore at midnight to “just take a quick listen…” — Now, you guys do that for me instead…and I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY APPRECIATE IT!
You’re more than welcome!!!! If you have need to make a call, just lemme know…LOL!!!
That’s hysterical, Jamie! Thanks for the offer!
Glad you’re enjoying the chat:)
By the way, if you ladies have a moment and you can go to amazon.com and write a review of Finding Me….it would be GREATLY appreciated!
No problem, I will post one soon as I can.
Darnella, I asked this in a previous post and it actually as to do with Choke, what was up with the condom scene? When I read my mouth was on the floor and all I cud do was shake my head. I also wondered what would’ve happened if her suspicions weren’t correct.
Jamie…i am embarrassed to say…I don’t remember the condom scene in Choke. I haven’t read Choke since I wrote it…almost seven years ago now! Wow!…I’ll have to take a look at it again…God only knows what i was thinking when I wrote it
Well ladies…it’s time for me to sign off for the day! I just want to reach out and let you all know how much I appreciate you ALL–you have made me feel so very special today. As I leave you, I leave you with the “five little words” that I once heard a minister say. I do believe it was the best sermon I ever heard. He simply said at the end of his delivery…
Take Care of One Another
Take Care of One Another
Take Care of One Another
Be messengers of Love and Light! We all “heal” a little bit more each day by your love and kindess!
Till next time…keep reading…keep living….and MOST of all…KEEP loving!
Thank you for chatting with us today!!! These are some profound words, thanks for sharing. Have a great weekend!!!!
I’ve heard this once from a minister as well.
Thank you for joining us today and much continued success with your writing!!
WOW..I loved this book…