Comments on: Marriage 101 Blog Tour with Jewell Powell

By: mary

mary — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 00:50:35 +0000

I had a hard time staying on line (Doggone Vista!!) so I missed this one. Great points though. I’m not married and I think that these tips would work in all types of relationships. Excellent points made!

By: Rosa

Rosa — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 18:47:23 +0000

I missed the conversation yesterday, but wanted to add there were some great comments made. And I need to work on #1.

By: Marriage 101 Blog Tour – Day 2 (enter the drawing) : Tywebbin Virtual Tours

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 05:31:05 +0000

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By: Wana

Wana — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 03:45:10 +0000

I have one more.

Encourage your spouse… to achieve their dreams and goals and just to help get them through the day. We all have rough days and sometimes all we need is a little encouragement.

By: Hope

Hope — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 03:06:58 +0000

I agree with you completely, Unika. It would be very difficult for me to allow someone else to make all decisions for me. I’m not in conflict with my SO about this. I run into conflict whenever I try to determine the role of a submissive woman from a biblical perspective.

By: Wana

Wana — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 02:59:21 +0000

Jamie. Marriage is definitely possible and it’s a wonderful thing you just have to be prepared to work for it and on it.

By: Unika Howell-Molden

Unika Howell-Molden — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 02:16:56 +0000

Hope, that is a major hurdle in some marriages. In my opinion, you and your significant other must discuss this topic early in the relationship. Our home life is based on mutual respect. I made sure that my husband was aware of the fact that I am willing to stand beside him and NOT behind him!! I also told him that I am willing and able to let him lead as long and we discuss the road that we will travel as a family. We discussed, in great detail, our individual roles as man and wife as well as our parental roles.

Our marriage is a democracy and not a dictatorship! No one person has the final say. We discuss what we need to and then decide what is best for our family as a whole.

By: Tee C. Royal

Tee C. Royal — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 02:11:15 +0000

I agree! One of the best ever. Thank you all so much for participating. I hope everyone will get a copy of Jewell’s book, too.

Jewell, thanks so much.

-Tee

By: Unika Howell-Molden

Unika Howell-Molden — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 02:07:56 +0000

Ladies, you all are on point with your comments! This dialogue really helps. As for keeping our business private, my hubby and I established this early on. I am a very private person and he is as well. I dont tell anyone anything that is going on in my marriage or in my home. As far as I know, he does not discuss our business either.

In my opinion, this keeps outside influences from clouding our judgement about situations and making more out of them than they really are. Also, as you ladies stated previously, I may be over something while the person that I shared information with may hold a grudge.

By: Linda Chavis

Linda Chavis — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 01:34:22 +0000

Whew AWESOME conversation !

By: Joyce

Joyce — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 01:12:57 +0000

I know I am going to purchase this book for myself and probably for my son and daughter-in-law because they need a lot of these questions answered for them……

By: Joyce

Joyce — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 01:09:52 +0000

yes I guess I do because my previous marriage I had a cheating spouse although my spouse and I have been together for 15 years I guess I am still afraid to trust and beleive when I am told the truth…..and it sometimes drives a deep wedge in our marriage…

By: Susan Chisolm

Susan Chisolm — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 00:13:03 +0000

While all tips are eqaully important to any relationship, easiest tip for me is knowing what my mate expects of me and the relationship. I had to learn that one the hard way but in hindsight, it seems like a simple thing.

The hardest one for me is thinking before I speak. I tend to want to address all the issues at the moment so that I don’t carry those thoughts/feelings around with me. Sometimes, though, it is better to let the issue cool down before I dump more fuel on the fire.

The one that I think I need the most work with is conducting family meetings. I guess I never really thought about this and didn’t see the need but it is something that we may need to work on.

By: Cheryl A. Pullins

Cheryl A. Pullins — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 23:47:29 +0000

Wow! This is great stuff!! I am following the tour to support our VLW sister Jewell and I am enjoying the comments and the information. I have been married for 14 MONTHS! My husband I are very mature in how we handle our issues which has really helped with arguments…we don’t have them. Yes we disagree but we know how to agree that we don’t agree with one another and keep it moving. Yep…my husband can be blunt but he will come back an apologize for his words or his tone. I am the non-confrontational one but I have learned how to say how I feel instead of shutting down.

Thanks Jewell!! Thank you Tee!!!!

By: Wana

Wana — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 23:31:52 +0000

Just had this conversation a few weeks ago because I was like I’m always doing my thing and you’re doing yours we need to do stuff together. We had to define what quality or us time meant to us and I’m sure it’s different for every couple. So for us it’s sitting together watching a movie at home or a tv show that we both want to watch not I’m watching xxx so if you want to spend time with me you can just watch it too. That irks me to no end. We also play video games together and go out for an occasional meal but mostly it’s carry out. We do make it a point to eat dinner together.

By: Wana

Wana — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 23:24:48 +0000

Hope that is so true and it makes you want to say “I got over it so why haven’t you?”

By: Keren Childers

Keren Childers — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 22:27:49 +0000

Jewel:
Nice pointers to go by. I’ve been married 27 years and believe me we’ve fought over finances mainly. I find we communicate well except with that. Could be because of layoffs, downsizing and not making what we made years ago. This is something I am working on with our relationship. I need to purchase that book. I’ll definitely check out your website. Thanks for sharing.

Tee thanks for the invite

By: Hope

Hope — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 21:57:44 +0000

I often don’t have a sitter either, so my son, BF and I spend a lot of time together. However, it’s important for me to take time out for them both separately, and to spend quality time with each of them.

By: Peaches

Peaches — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 21:57:34 +0000

# 19- I have “war” stories about the “silent treatment”. I/ We are both a tad bit on the stubborn side and I/ we would walk around for weeks without saying anything to one another. We only asked/answered questions as they pertained to the kids or other household needs. That was a really rough patch in our marriage and it wasn’t until a counselor that we were taking my son to said something about it that clicked in both of us.

That was the first of many turning points for me because I was so absordeb in who was right and who was wrong, that I didn’t think about how I was a contributing factor to our dysfunction.

Lesson learned,

By: Hope

Hope — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 21:55:40 +0000

My cousin and I were just talking about this on today. She wants to be taken care of and wants to allow the man to be the head of the household, making all important decisions on behalf of the family. I say this is what I want, too. But, I still want my 2 cents to count and I want me and my mate to be in agreement about major decisions.

How do you strike a balance?

By: Hope

Hope — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 21:51:16 +0000

I’m a big fan of keeping things private. Long after I’ve forgotten the “wrong” that my hubby or BF has done to me, my family and friends will still remember….and will hold that against him.

By: Hope

Hope — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 21:49:03 +0000

That’s a great point, Tee, and a great follow up, Jewell. I don’t have to understand everything, and when that happens, it’s just another way to open the dialogue (i.e., I think you’re saying X; is that right?).

By: Lashonda

Lashonda — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 21:13:59 +0000

Exactly how it was for us. Looking forward to the food was not even big for him because my mother in law cooks like it is a celebration all the time. I still have my stocking from my 1st christmas and he has never had one. Once our kids got older and once he watched my daughter, from a previous marriage interact with the things I did for them he got into the spirit more. He still does not get why I bite a cookie, throw most of the milk out and write a thank you letter from Santa. Iam converting him slowly but surely.LOL

By: Lashonda

Lashonda — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 21:09:22 +0000

Tee,
I never thought I would date so long. I kept holding out for the dream wedding that I could not afford. While in vegas for a friends weddign he drove me to the court house and asked me did I want to et married. We filed the paperwork, went to a chapel and got hitched.

I think it was easier becaise I did not think in terms of this is my husband we have to make this work, we kinda just existed. The title of wife and husband has changed how I look at the relationship.

By: Rhonda McKknight

Rhonda McKknight — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 20:52:18 +0000

Sharon you know they need this book BAD!!! LOL. Lord help ‘em.