Comments on: Take Off the Mask Blog Tour with Sonya Visor

By: Sonya

Sonya — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 22:23:51 +0000

Wow, Renee, now you have me up here in tears. My God girl…thank you for stopping by here today. I needed to hear those words. A self published author can be kicked down by many, but thank God for people like you getting the message. I appreciate you.

Your words, humbled me…because this is a passion of mine. Simply put: it’s ministry.

I receive what you said…what the devil meant for evil, God has definitely turned it around. I did not pull the plug on my life. I will LIVE and NOT die. Now, I’m really messed up with the tears. Thanks, Renee, you too…are a safe place. I can’t wait to read your books Ms. Renee Allen McCoy! You are a JEWEL. Love yah!

By: Sonya

Sonya — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 22:17:14 +0000

Elaine, thanks for stopping by! You are a safe place…you have proven that you are no gossiping “church goer”, but that you can handle somebody else’s truth. You and I both know that this is why people don’t want to come to church because they can’t even be real in the house of the Lord. But, thank you for being the good side of Chapter 7 “I mean really, can I talk to you?”…LOL!

By: Renee

Renee — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 22:13:19 +0000

Hello Sonya!

Great excerpt, although I’m about to finish the book. I think you did a wonderful job getting into detail. I’m going to share this in my review as well, but wanted to let you know that as I read the beginning of chapter 2, I started crying…I don’t usually cry unless it’s dealing with the word of God or someone really close to me.. LOL. But I cried because it seemed as if I was jolted back to that moment in time for you. When you talked about being out and playing kickball with your cousins and were called by one of your abusers; that just seemed to be overwhelming for a child to endure. My heart goes out to you, but what the devil meant for harm, God will turn it around!

Keep preaching and teaching; you may just help save a life just as your son did with you.

By: Elaine

Elaine — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 21:47:53 +0000

Sonya, thank you for bringing this subject to the forefront. So many people are hurting and hiding behind a mask of guilt and shame, but I thank God for people like you, who are willing to open up and share their experiences of hurt and healing. Both men and women were victims of this type of abuse from hands who should have been loving them. I truely believe God has a special work for you and this in only the beginning.

Love Ya Sis!

By: Sonya

Sonya — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 21:22:03 +0000

Tee, thanks for having me! It is an honor to be featured.

By: Sonya

Sonya — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 21:20:43 +0000

That’s something Starr, (what a wonderful name).

Because it was the sexual abuse that taught me how to mask. I learned how to keep secrets by not telling anyone what my violators were doing to me. Which, in turn, taught me how to keep my own stuff – changing faces whenever I needed to. I learned early in life how to cover up Sonya.

By: Tee C. Royal

Tee C. Royal — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 21:17:48 +0000

Thanks, Sonya! And, I thank you (and Ty) for allowing us to be part of the tour.

-Tee

By: Sonya

Sonya — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 21:02:49 +0000

Why thank you husband! Or should I say, Pastor Tony:)

You know we keep it real. I thank God for getting to this place of transparency and us having a church that won’t allow others to NOT show the love of God. People have to have a safe place and it is time to no longer be silent…but deal with the issues at hand. Whatever those issues might be.

Love yah and thanks for stopping by:)

By: Starr

Starr — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 20:36:38 +0000

Thank you so much for being open, honest and real about what you have been through. I myself have not gone through this particular situation but know a lot of people who have. This book has helped me to be able to identify with them, kind of get a glimpse of how they might feel. With this book, I see that I mask a lot. I try to be what people would have me to be. Without actually reading these words I would have never known that it was an actual problem.

By: Tony

Tony — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 20:28:51 +0000

Baby, I thank God for your courage and boldness, to attack this head on. I know its not easy but, I thank God for equipping you and empowering you to bring this issue out to the public. Men and women deal with this issue each and everyday of there lives, with know place to go. But God is able to see us through. I love and I am so proud of your work. Your husband!

By: Sonya

Sonya — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 19:19:35 +0000

So true, Sharon…that they can come and talk to you about ANYTHING!

By: Sonya

Sonya — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 19:17:33 +0000

Christine, I appreciate you stopping by today. It’s time to take off the mask. Thank you for those encouraging words.

By: Sharon

Sharon — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 19:16:59 +0000

That’s right Cheryl….keep that line of communication open so they can come to you about ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By: Christine

Christine — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 19:00:03 +0000

Sonya,

Thank you so much for speaking out to other women! We can all learn from what you have written!!

By: Sonya

Sonya — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 18:47:33 +0000

I have no doubt, Angelia, that you’ll do the same! God Bless you!

By: angelia

angelia — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 18:39:30 +0000

Thanks Ma’am, I was in the battle early but one thing that saved me was my inability to hold grudges or to allow folk to get away with treating me any kind of way, now I am that for several young women in my life….and life is AWESOME~

BLESS YOU AND CONTINUE TO DO WHAT YOU ARE DOING~

angelia
.-= — Visit angeliaÂ´s site & last blog post at: FORWARD MARCH~ =-.

By: Sonya

Sonya — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 18:34:16 +0000

Angelia, I definitely believe you! Nice blog, by the way. I see you have great things happening too.

Thank you for being apart of this chat, I appreciate it.

By: angelia

angelia — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 18:21:44 +0000

Sonya,
I been preaching for years and years and years…hee hee…

angelia
.-= — Visit angeliaÂ´s site & last blog post at: FORWARD MARCH~ =-.

By: Sonya

Sonya — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 18:19:04 +0000

Angelia, I feel your heart. You nailed it! Your comment just summed it up with the violators and the young ladies (men). Because the victims are scarred for life. Wow, girl, you are the one who should be preachin’!

I will be checking out your blog:)

By: Sonya

Sonya — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 18:13:27 +0000

Tee, I almost missed your question going so fast with typing errors, mixed with passion.

But yes the title does raise an eyebrow because people have said to me, “Isn’t who I’ve become, who I am?” and my response to them is this: Yes, that is true. But the prospective from this book is, who am I when nobody’s looking? When I get through with all of the roles that I am: wife, mother, pastor, author etc…who am I then? Is the true person showing up in ALL that I do? Yes, those things are apart of me. But the TruU, not the role, should show up in all that we do.

By: angelia

angelia — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 18:10:35 +0000

A well kept secret and one of the reasons many never tell is because of responses. All molesters are not violent or physically brutal. In fact they are quite seductive and if a person responds to someone’s touch then they certainly feel it is their fault. Even though their heart and mind is telling them it is not right. And the greater truth is that if you are touching a child you are just wrong, wrong, wrong and part of the conversation is that if someone touches you and you respond it is still not supposed to happen because it is violation of a child, plain and simple. I have talked to so many girls who never said anything because they felt like their bodies had betrayed them by responding and it leaves them scarred forever~ sorry to go on but this is one of my missions~

angelia

By: Sonya

Sonya — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 18:08:16 +0000

Cheryl, that is awesome you are being open with your girls because the violators have a way of making you feel like, “we’re in this together”.

By: Cheryl

Cheryl — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 18:05:00 +0000

Sharon, sooo true. but i am hoping that we will begin to break this cycle.
With me being touched at a young age, i now ask my daughters daily, during bath time, “is anyone touching you?” becasue i don’t want them to carry secrets for decades or feel ashamed or faultful (is that a word? lol) if something happens to them.

By: Sonya

Sonya — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 18:01:15 +0000

You are so right Sharon. I felt embarrassed about the sexual abuse. People respond to events in their lives differently.

By: Sonya

Sonya — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 17:59:02 +0000

See Cheryl, you are there now…why do we keep secrets? For me, it was the guilt and shame of my uncles hands touching my body. I didn’t know how to channel how I was feeling so I tucked it away down on the inside.

In reading the book, we all know the characters like Ms. Gucci, Mr. Do-Good and Little Caleb who mask for many reasons. Only that person knows why they are “acting” a part and not allowing the truu to show up.