Victorious Living for Women Blog Tour
Written by RAWSISTAZ · January 12, 2010 · 496 views
What are some major issues you think keep women from living victoriously?
Deborah Billingsley says “We are our own worst enemy being harder on ourselves. We tend to ask everyone how to get out of a situation and get emotionally tied to the circumstance. We continue to speak about it not knowing that what we’re speaking about, thinking about, keeps rehearsing itself in our lives. We have a tendency to depend on others to help us get out of whatever it is and questioning our decisions constantly. We try and solve ourselves and do not listen to our heart only our head. We tend to not have direction, goals final destinations to what we want to happen out of life. We know what we don’t want, but do we know want we DO want? This keeps us going in circles back to the same situations.
I have learned that Jesus, God’s son was the best friend I could ever have. He directed my paths when I learned to listen. I learned that when a situation presents itself instead of thinking about how…. I relaxed in the things of God, music, aromatherapy for pleasant smells, enjoying beautiful landscape, helping someone else getting my mind off me and exercise to release tension and reading what God promised. And I realized that most situations would only last a matter of three days! If you research the word three days you will see that just about everything renewed after three days!”
We need to RELAX, BREATHE and BELIEVE. There is more joy there.
Psalms 34:19 Many are the afflictions of the righteous, But the LORD delivers him out of them ALL.
Donna M. Saunders says “The first issue that comes to mind is fear. We talk ourselves out of moving forward and living victoriously by fear of not being accepted, fear of failure, fear of losing control etc. We must remember that the battle is the Lord’s and not ours (I Samuel 17:47, II Chronicles 20:14-16, II Chronicles 32:8).
I would like all women to remember that we must Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you. (Deuteronomy 31:6, 8)”
ABOUT THE BOOK
Victorious Living for Women is filled with the inspiration, wisdom and pathways to victory of 42 incredible women who share stories of their life experiences, from their heart to yours. They have endured personal pain and have come through empowered, encouraged and victorious.
As they take you on their personal journeys you will find inspiration, encouragement and blueprints for victory embedded in each chapter. You will discover principles for transforming your life. You can learn how to overcome fear, find you purpose, define your destiny, recover from divorce, heal your heart, physical healing, dealing with the loss of loved ones and so much more.
This stellar assembly of women with inspiring true-life stories will captivate you throughout each page as you read how their lives were transformed from anger to joy, disappointment to destiny and trial to victory. Their candor, wisdom and inspiration can help you to pursue your path of becoming a victorious woman.
Read an excerpt and check the tour schedule at http://bit.ly/VictoriousLivingForWomenTour.
Now It’s Your Turn
What are some major issues you think keep women from living victoriously?
We look forward to your response in the comment section below.
RAWSISTAZ Literary Group was founded in 2000 to support and promote the work of African-American authors. The groups, on and offline, represent close to 600 readers, writers, aspiring writers, and others interested in literacy and the impact on our communities.
Thanks so much for joining us today! My favorite line of all this is:
“We need to RELAX, BREATHE and BELIEVE.”
I hope to incorporate this into my daily life, starting now! I think one of the biggest issues we have is not celebrating our greatness and achievements. Instead we focus on the negative, the failures and things of this nature.
-Tee
I agree we often times focus on our failures and the mistakes of the past. Yes we should learn from our mistakes , confess our sins , repent and make Word based and practical changes in our lives. However, the enemy sometimes will keep us operating in fear and condemnation that we walk lamely, instead of victotriously. With the help of the Lord we must remember that we came overcome
I agree.. we don’t celebrate when we do accomplish something no matter how small it may be or how big it may be. I have just started doing that and it feels great! Thanks
What are some major issues you think keep women from living victoriously?
Hello all ! Great question. I will speak for me. Since I havent worked since March, it is a constant struggle to maintain and I know Im not alone. Im thankful I dont have a family to worry about the way this economy is right now, so for some women who do Im sure that is one issue that could prevent them from living victoriously. Im thankful to have a support group of women to talk to when I get down.
Thanks so much for sharing, Linda! I’m hoping things will take a turn for the best and it’ll help ease the strain. I’m always here if you need to talk.
-Tee
Thanks Linda for sharing. I have experienced the same, no job. But if it were not for the Church family, and friends and my faith it would have been more of a challenge. It is great to have a support base that’s what got me thru as well. Be encouaged you are one day closer to that perfect job just for you! God Bless.
I agree with both the authors. One thing that comes to mind for me is self-esteem issues. Not feeling worthy or up to worldly standards can be very detrimental.
Renee, thanks for stopping by! Now that you’ve mentioned it, I do believe this is probably the number one issue for a lot of women. Most of us have one issue or another with our body, which heavily affects our self-esteem.
-Tee
Yes Tee many of us have had some issues with self esteem.. I t often affects the negative relationships we engage in with not only males but with females. Many have stayed in abusive relationships because of lack of esteem and fear. We have to encourage ourselves in the Lord and each other that whatever size, skin shade of color or etc does not justify being mistreated or feeling like a failure. Sometimes you have to work at it given society. But Victorious living is beleiving what God says about you and that you are more than a conqueror. You may have to go through ,but you don’t have to stay in a negative, unproductive, evil situation, place or state of mind.
Amen, Amen!
Thank you for hosting the Victorious Living for Women tour on RAWSistaz!
Thanks for sharing with us, Ty. I sure which they could’ve actually stopped by to participate.
-Tee
Hey Tee,
A few of the ladies from the anthology did stop by – Cheryl Donavan, Jacquie Lewis-Kemp, Tiffany Easley. I will continue to round up some others contributors.
My apologies, ladies, but I still haven’t found a list of contributors, so I wasn’t sure.
Ty, if you have one, please email it to me and I can add it to the post.
-Tee
I’m sending the list over now. My apologies for not sending the list earlier.
Thanks, Tee!
In my mind it has to do with somehthing Oprah said we don’t believe people when they show us who they are the first time. As women we think we can change people. When the change really needs to occur in us. We teach people how to treat us and we must begin to provide better lessons. Starting with ourselves
Evangelist Cheryl Lacey Donovan is a co-author of Victorious Living for Women and the founder of Worth More than Rubies MInistries
This is so, so true, Cheryl!
Evangelist Donovan ,you are so right that the change must begin us. We must ask God to open our eyes, renew our mind. The first thing a true prayer relationship with the Lord does is to begin to change us first. Thank you for those words.
What are some major issues you think keep women from living victoriously?
I think the number one thing is fear. Women become fearful of being victorious. I have struggled with this alot in life, the fear of the unknown. Also I think, low self-esteem plays a big part in keeping women from living victoriously. This is some that I really have to remind myself, other than God, I am my biggest cheerleader. But, then it creeps in that how can you be a cheerleader for self when you don’t like self or don’t feel comfortable with self. The third thing is naysayers. Having too many people around you who don’t believe in you or see your worth is not good for living victoriously.
Brenda
I’m with you on the naysayers. I’ve doubted myself many times over my life because I was too busy listening to other people. I think you find victory the most when you don’t get caught up in the people pleasing mode like many women tend to do. Somewhere in there you tend to lose yourself – thus messing with your self-esteem and producing unhealthy fear. Definitely stay centered on God. He knows you better than anybody.
For me personally it’s my self-esteem.
Guilt. We feel guilty when we try to put our needs first, so we just don’t do it. Our husbands/mates don’t have a problem with it, our needy children don’t have a problem with it, but we feel “bad” if we do. When flying on a plane, they train you to place the oxygen mask over your own face first so that you can survive in order to save others. You can’t save the kid, the husband, the friend, if you’re passing out from strain and stress. When we are passionately working towards our goals, we are happier, healthier and more sound.
Your take on this makes sense. The oxygen mask on the plane is a good example.
What are some major issues you think keep women from living victoriously?
I think the “status quo” that women take the supporting role rather than a leading role, keeps some of us from living victoriously. I think it may be almost instinct for women to please others, please husband…before self.
Also I agree that self-esteem and fear of the unknown may be a women’s biggest challenge in being victorious. I always question my decision-making and that, too, may keep me from being vicotorious. These were some great thoughts to reflect on.
Fear, low self esteem, concern about children, spouses and other family instead of ourselves, and even the guilt when we do spend some time on ourselves, often stop us from living victorious each day. Perhaps a better question would be how often do we believe we live victoriously? Because most women feel sometimes they do live victoriously—but not always. The challenge then becomes keeping our minds, hearts and spirits focused on God and His will. I think when we live within that important parameter, we indeed feel victorious.
Unfortunately, I’m sure many of us don’t live it often enough. But, I’m going to definitely do better!!
-Tee
My chapter in Victorious Living for Women is “We Can’t Always Predict How God Will Bless Us” and you can read more about me and my book “Blessed Assurance: Success Despite the Odds” a book about living life with diabetes instead of limiting life because of diabetes, at http://www.jlewiskemp.wordpress.com
One of the factors that keeps us from living victriously is that we say we believe and trust God but we don’t walk it out in our lives. We depend on God as a last resort. We have a lot of self esteem issues, and we operate in fear sometimes.
I believe that there may be a few issues that keep women from living victoriously. Women are nuturers and as a result we often times want to nuture and help everyone else before setting our house in order or taking the necessary steps to make sure we are being a blessing to the kingdom by living a victorious life. I believe one of the major goals/objectives that must be met when living a victorious life is to develop a system of checks/balances, keeping you focused on Kingdom business first at all times. We must remember that we can not save an entire World, but we can change the world one life at a time.
The thing that USED to keep me from living victoriously was believing that it was all up to me to make everything work. I started that as a young girl and continued the madness for decades. However, once I saw the light I knew that I had to allow each one to carry their part of the load and that sometimes I can delegat and take my hands off it. Oh what a Victory indeed…When I learned to trust God, I was on my way!
angelia
I’m still doing this… But, at least I’m aware of it.
Tee,
it is a hard thing to unlearn and it is a FEMALE DISEASE~
Amen! I fully agree that we sometimes put too much emphasis on what other folks think. Why do we consult with other women (or men) who are themselves out of sync? We get a lot of really bad advice instead of consulting the ONE who knows. Now I know that God sends men & women into your life who will help guide you in a wise direction but you have to be mindful of what folks are telling you to do. We also have to stop speaking negatively. So a man (woman) thinketh, he (she) is. Speak positively and surround yourself with positive, peaceful people. I also agree that fear is a BIG factor in why we lack in so many areas. What are we so afraid of? I have to ask myself that on a few issues in my own life. This was wonderful! Thank you!
Thank you all for sharing your thoughts on the topic and for those new to RAWSISTAZ.com, welcome! Definitely let me know if any of you are contributors to the book and share your short bios and website links.
-Tee
Hello Tee!!
Thank you for hosting us this week!! I’m sure that I speak on all of the authors’ behalf when I say “We appreciate your support”!! I am a contributing author in Victorious Living for Women and have posted my short bio as requested. Thank you again!!
Angela
http://www.victoriouslivingforwomen.weebly.com
http://www.afoxenterprises.com
To Tee:
My name is Brenda Dennis. I am a single mom, co-author of Victorious Living For Women & Ordained Minister. My chapter in VLW is ‘I Am Who God Says I Am”. My chapter discusses the journey of drug usage, homosexuality and gender confusion. I am currently working on several other books, that will be published in 2010. I am currently a staff writer for live magazine and I can be heard live daily at 12:10 est. on http://www.wrxb.us broacasting my empowerment minute “Brenda’s Biscuits & Butter”. Please visit my website at http://www.empowered2inspire.com
Kingdom Blessings
Evangelist B.
Thanks so much!
Often times, women in general tend to take care of EVERYone except ourselves. I have been guilty of it myself – for more years than I care to admit.
However, as I grow older & wiser, I realize that I can’t be everything to everybody and I can’t do anything for anybody until I do for myself. When we know better, we do better and we can be victorious together!
Angela L. Brown,
Contributing Author – Victorious Living for Women
http://www.victoriouslivingforwomen.weebly.com
http://www.afoxenterprises.com
***********
Angela L. Brown, is an entrepreneur, community activist, speaker, and author. She is a graduate of West Virginia University (WVU) where she received her Bachelor of Arts degree in Psychology and a certificate in Africana Studies. Ms. Brown is a member of several organizations including WVU Alumni Association. She serves as Special Events Coordinator for the WVU Black Alumni Association. Ms. Brown is an Ambassadoll Spokesmodel for The Black Doll Affair. She is also a member of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. Ms. Brown serves as CEO and Event Designer at A Fox Enteprises – Event Planning At Its Best. She likes spending time with family in North Carolina and West Virginia. In her spare time she enjoys reading, running, writing, traveling, cooking and shopping.
This is one I’m still working on. I may take a day off to take care of me, but then I work 7-10 like a mad woman to catch up. It’s such a brutal cycle, but I’m steadily working at it!
Thanks so much for sharing.
-Tee
To the contributors, thanks for stopping through and sharing with us. I hope the book continues to touch people and open them up to the lessons, guidance and thoughts within!
For the readers, the contributor list is below. Be sure to pick up a copy and support the project.
Victorious Living for Women Contributor List
Althea Marscene Williams
Angela Brown
Evangelist Brenda Dennis
Apostle Caroll Pollard Lopez
Cherri Waltson
Cheryl A. Pullins
Cheryl Donovan
Christine Pembleton
Deana Murphy
Debbie Magee
Deborah Billingsley
Donna Saunders
Eleanor Pat Miller
Gail Dudley
Jacqueline Lewis-Kemp
Jewell Powell
Joan Gosier
Joann Smith
Johnese Stewart
Joy Turner
Dr. Joyce McNeal
Kathleen Moon
Katrina Norfleet
Kimberly F. Jackson
L. Denise Simpson
Dr. LaWanna Harrod
Lea Marie Lucas
Letetia Liggins
Linda Evans
Lorraine Williams
Lucretia Daniel
Martha Lake
Melissa Hoffman
Michele Mills
Paulette Harper
Rhonda White
Tiesha Johnson
Tiffany Easley
Tina Gwynn
Tresmaine Grimes
Valarie D. Bloom
I believe one problem women have is with their identity. We tend to want to be like everyone else and get affirmed by others. In my own personal life I had to accept me for who I am. Even with my faults and issues I’ve come to realize that God loves me for me. My affirmation comes from the one who created me in His image.
Paulette Harper Contributing Author: Victorious Living for Women (I Win There Is a Champion in you)
Paulette Harper is a bestselling author, Christian Inspirational Speaker, Licensed Minister and workshop facilitator and freelance writer.
Paulette Harper’s literary achievement includes her first published non-fiction inspirational book: That Was Then, This Is Now This Broken Vessel Restored (Tate Publishing & Enterprises) has been ranked consecutively for months on the Top 50 Black Christian Book Distributors Independent Publishers Bestsellers List for Non-Fiction, a finalist in the Religion/Religious Non-Fiction category of the 2009 Next Generation Indie Book Awards.
Paulette resides in Northern California.
http://www.pauletteharper.blogspot.com
http://www.victoriousliving4women.weebly.com
http://www.facebook.com/paulette.harper2
http://www.pauletteharper.com